"This Stuff Really Works!"

I know I like to rag on my old church, but it serves only to distance me from it. Allow me to tell the truth and make a confession: My old church was so bad... (HOW BAD WAS IT?) My old church was so bad that I once decided to aim my prayers downward, praying for snow the next day, just so I wouldn't have to go. Ouch, right? The point is clear, although I could spend the next 5 hours opining about my experiences! Needless to say, it didn't work.